When I was called into the Relief Society Presidency six months ago, I felt seriously under-qualified for the position. I remember my first thought being, 'I'd better step it up, if I'm going to accept this calling.'
One of the things I've spent the last several months earnestly working on has been my thoughts. To me, it's always been easy to do the right thing, basically because I don't want to get caught doing the wrong thing. But my thoughts are something entirely different because no one holds me accountable for them. Who is going to say anything if I secretly criticize the speaker in Sacrament, or conjure up fifteen ways to murder my toddler while he's in the middle of a world-class tantrum? Plus, as a writer, I spend an inordinate amount of time lost in my own thoughts.
As I've earnestly endeavored to improve my thoughts, I've discovered something fascinating: Thoughts not muddled with negativity, create thoughts steeped with positivity and creativity! I get along with my husband better, I don't want to yell at my children as often, and I'm better prepared to handle whatever life throws at me. Plus, I spend less time brooding, and more time plotting out the next scene in my book, or entirely new stories.
My deeds now reflect my thoughts. And I guess they always have. It's just that my thoughts are now productive, less depressed, and I'm able to hear the Spirit more often. Do I have a long way to go? Heck yeah! But I've reached a point where I'm beginning to notice those changes, and so has my family.