40

by Kami Cornwall

I have been sitting here staring at my computer screen for a good five minutes trying to encapsulate what it is that I'm thinking today. My thoughts are always so scattered that it makes it hard to get to the point. So what's the point today? I went to bed yesterday a 39 year old girl and woke up this morning a 40 year old woman. Of course every year I say, "I don't feel any older," and today would be no exception.

Do you ever have the unrealistic expectation that on your birthday you will wake up to hearing the Beatles'  Birthday Song blaring while streamers and confetti shoot out from the corners of the room? Yeah...no. I wasn't thinking about that at all. Ahem. But I do sometimes wish my parents were there to bake my cake (instead of baking it myself) and surprise me with a party (instead of telling my family what I'd like to do and who I would like to have over.) You know, those things that you don't appreciate when you're still living under your parents' roof.

I think my 25th birthday was the hardest to accept. I expected I was going to be like someone on the cast of "Friends," sitting in a coffee shop somewhere being trendy and making all others around me jealous. Instead I was serving a mission - doing more important things but feeling kind of invisible. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have traded what I was doing for the coffee-shop life either. I knew that I was doing what was right, but just definitely wasn't doing the "glamorous" thing at 25.

My niece this year was lamenting turning 12. I know, right? So I told her that getting older is AWESOME. And it really is. This is what I'm learning as I get older: I am more bold with my statements because I care a lot less about what people think of me. I get to wake up to my kids shouting "Happy Birthday!" Forget the Beatles. I can go on a shopping spree and not worry about what my mom will think. The friends I have now are faithful and fun - not catty like some I had when I was 12. And I get to go to school because I want to...not because I have to.

Whether or not it's your birthday today, celebrate and dance like nobody's looking!