I used to enjoy Halloween. I was into the whole find or make or construct costumes for the kids and take them out to make the rounds of the neighborhood. And then, they were old enough to go by themselves, and I sat by the door to hand out the treats.
In 1997, life changed. My husband was in the hospital with a mysterious malady that had been treated as pneumonia but wasn't. He had been poked and pricked and drained and biopsied, and was ready to get on with life, if he could just get shed of this thing and go home. It was October 31.
His doctor and the surgeon came in, and life never was the same.
Both doctors wore solemn faces. As they spoke, we began to have an inkling of the doom they pronounced. My dear husband had an aggressive, terminal cancer, which had a very high mortality rate. Very few had survived it. My husband would not.
Lawyers make a lot of money these days on mesothelioma lawsuits. In those days, we'd never heard of it. My husband lived only ten and a half months after the diagnosis. It came with bone-chilling, blood-freezing force, more powerful than any fright a child could receive reading ghost stories.
Nowadays, I avoid any celebration of Halloween. If I buy candy in October, most likely I'm going to consume it, not Trick or Treaters. The day has lost any enchantment for me. It's only a day to remember when our lives took a very bad turn.
I'm so grateful for our temple service assignment--that's where we'll be when the neighborhood is swarming with kids expecting candy when they ring our doorbell. Anyway, I don't respond well to emotional blackmail, which is what this "holiday" has turned into. And by the way, my father died of mesothelioma in 1987, which he contracted during World War II when he worked in the Portland shipyard, applying asbestos inside the hulls of warships. Yes, there was a lawsuit.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your insights, Pam. I'm sorry for what your father and family endured.
DeleteAnd furthermore, even if we weren't going to be at the temple, we would arrange not to be home. I've heard that from lots of friends--they go out to dinner and a movie, go shopping and run errands instead of answering the doorbell. Between now and Valentine's Day (another "holiday" based on emotional blackmail) Americans consume more sugar than anybody in the world. And sugar just adds pounds, rots your teeth, sabotages creativity, destroys brain cells, causes swelling, and makes you stupid. It's the slowest form of suicide.
ReplyDeleteAmen, sister!
DeleteI can appreciate that Marsha. and I am truly sorry for what you and your husband suffered.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Terri. It was a hard time.
DeleteWow. I'm sorry for what you and your husband went through. Halloween has always stirred up feelings of "mom fail" for me. LOL. I was never very good at the whole costume thing...although I did manage to pull a few off. And the sugar thing...yeah. not good. We're headed out to go play with grandkids tonight while our son is at work. Now that part I do enjoy. big hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the grands, Kari!
DeleteWow---I understand completely!!! So sorry for what he and you had to go through. 1977 is a long time ago too... It's the same for me. New Year's Eve will never be the same...
ReplyDeleteLove to you, Valerie. I'm glad you had a second chance at love and companionship.
DeleteIt was actually 1997. Long enough ago, but not so long as to cut off my youngest--he was born in 1981, lol!
I can understand why you don't like Halloween anymore. I'm sorry that you and your husband had to go through this. My Mom's birthday, in August, is the hard one for me, since that is the night that Randy unexpectedly left this mortal existence in 2009. Take care.
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ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Joyce. When I heard another policeman in the Phoenix area had been killed at 1:00 a.m. on October 31, my first thought was, "Oh, his poor family!" Then I thought, "They will never want to celebrate Halloween again."
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for the terrible sense of loss you must feel. How awful that so many are celebrating while you're suffering privately. Just know that so many people love you!
Love you Marsha!
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