by Marsha Ward
I came across a misused English language phrase that had me figuratively rolling on the floor with laughter, so I didn't even have to worry about the Curmudgeon escaping to write about it. I could handle this one myself.
A letter was sent by a corporation to someone who had suggested fixes to an error-laden roll-out of an "improved version" of a mega-huge service used by millions of disappointed people across the globe.
The letter stated that the old service was broken, for all intensive purposes, which necessitated the new version (even though it was not working correctly in many areas, nor was functioning for many people, due to software usage that wasn't compatible for visually impaired persons, and the like). They refused to beta test it, you see, claiming it wouldn't be "new" if folks saw it beforehand.
While the letter writer was right that the old system had been cobbled together from various other services purchased over the years, and a re-do was several years overdue, the phrase that set me off, howling with laughter, was "for all intensive purposes."
Oh my gosh! That is a rare one. Hoo ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! "For all intensive purposes". Ho ho, ha, ha, hahahahahahahahahaha! HA! Hahaha!
[pausing to wipe eyes and attempt to get control of self]
Hee-hee, um, ho-ho, hahahahahaha!
"For all intents and purposes."
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh my gosh. Don't send out a corporate letter to hundreds of people, maybe millions, if you don't use the language correctly. Ha ha ha ha ha!