Apr 15, 2007

Suspense & Expectations

by Terry Deighton, Guest Blogger

Liz Adair has something else to do or somewhere else to be, so she asked me to write her blog today. She has a habit of getting me into things. She got me into ANWA, so I will forgive her some of the others.

I like to go places, but I hate to fly, so it is with trepidation and excitement that I contemplate an upcoming trip. I am going to fly to Utah to go to Women's Conference with my daughter. Then I am going to fly to Texas and rent a car to tour my son's mission before he and I fly back to Washington. This trip symbolizes a lot of indecision that has been faced in our family lately.

The daughter in Utah graduated from BYU a year ago and spent the summer trying to get a teaching job in Utah while living in Washington. She felt inspired to stay in Utah, but she convinced herself that it was a joke and came home. The job didn't happen, so she moved to Payson, Utah and signed up to substitute and work retail in the evenings and weekends. Now she is looking for a teaching job for next year. She is applying here, there, and almost anywhere. Where is she going to end up? The suspense is killing me.

The son who is finishing his mission and his twin sisters who are graduating from high school all applied for various colleges. The suspense on Mom was excruciating. Finally, they all got accepted to every college they applied to. BYU answered last and stipulated that Matt and Randi come in the summer. That would give my son only a month at home after being gone for two years. It would also split the twins up sooner than they had thought especially since Renae will be in France when Randi has to be in Provo, so they won't see each other from mid June until mid August. Randi had a hard time deciding what to do, and we had to wait a week to get Matt's decision in his weekly email, so I had to wait. The suspense didn't kill me, but I thought it might. They have all decided to go to BYU where it's no secret Mom wanted them in the first place.

I think one of the things that make life changes so hard is dealing with our expectations. We worry a great deal about whether or not things are going to work out the way we expect them to. I had a real lesson on expectations when I went to the Bahamas with my mother and my husband. Mom just hated it at first. She had a hard time understanding the people. It was very hot. It wasn't a tropical paradise like the Hawaii she remembered from thirty years before. I, on the other hand, had no expectations. I had a great time. All I was looking forward to was getting away from my three little kids for a little while before the fourth one came and changed my life again. (That's the son who is finishing his mission if you were wondering how long ago this was.)

After we've prayed and made a decision, I think the best thing to do is try to form only those expectations that will allow us the flexibility to enjoy whatever happens. It does no good to worry about the bad that can happen or to dream up fantastic pie-in-the-sky possibilities. We certainly have to prepare ourselves for possible outcomes, but then, I am determined to just go with the flow now that the suspense is over! I'll leave the worrying to my husband; he's good at it.


  1. Terry,
    It sounds like you have a summer full of new and exciting events waiting for you! I wish I could attend Women's Conference...but I have a client with a baby due close to that date. How fun to go with your daughter! Maybe I will start planning with all my daughter's and daughters-in-law for next year!

    I agree with you on the expectations thing. How many times have I gone to a movie after being told how wonderful it is, or having read and enjoyed the book, expected something great and came away sorely disappointed?

    I am so grateful for the knowledge we have of the Atonement...that because of the love our Savior has for us, no matter what happens to us in this life, we are going to be okay.

  2. Thank you so much, Terry, for taking my spot. You did a great job--and it's nice to read what's going on in your life. I miss teaching seminary together.

    It seems impossible that Matt will be home from his mission soon. Where did the time go? And I think it's jazzy that the twins both got accepted to BYU, along with Matt. I almost think I need to write a letter to tell everyone, watch out! The Deighton twins are coming! If you want something to happen, these are the girls to make it so.

    I'll miss them next year in seminary.


Thank you for visiting. Feel free to comment on our blogger's posts.*

*We do not allow commercial links, however. If that's not clear, we mean "don't spam us with a link to your totally unrelated-to-writing site." We delete those comments.