Valerie J. Steimle
This is a particularly difficult blog to write. I wasn’t going to write it now. I was going to wait until later in the day but I couldn’t sleep anyway so I thought I might as well get it done early. This past week things were not right with the guy I have been seeing. We had such a great time together in the last seven months and it was time to find out whether we should get married. His answer to the prayer was different from mine, surprisingly. His was a big no and he knew for the past week. But he wanted to be sure that was the right answer and was dragging his feet in telling me. That would be why we didn’t have such a great week together. So last night we met in the middle of Pascagoula, Mississippi and Loxley, Alabama and he told me. I have never had to go through that before. Back in my BYU days, I was always the one to break it off, not the one being broken off to. So now I sit at my computer writing about the woes of breaking up a relationship that I thought was going to go on a lot longer than it did.
Last year I went to one of those singles conferences and sat in a workshop which was taught by an LDS woman psychologist and she brought out the point that it is not uncommon to not marry someone that you love. I just felt that idea was so strange. How can someone love another person and then not get married to them? It just seemed so foreign to me but now I understand that idea much better. It will be difficult to listen to The Eagles, Love Will Keep Us Alive after this. We would dance to that in his living room sometimes.
I feel like becoming a hermit but he said that it wouldn’t help. He became a hermit for a long time after his divorce and I was the one who brought him out of it. It will take time to get over this one. Not like losing a husband but it is painful. Something I had to learn in life, I suppose. I wonder what my husband thinks about all of this.