May 14, 2008

Choosing a Mother

by Faith St. Clair

I heard a husband tell his wife, “I don’t need a mother,” as she attempted to encourage him to be a little more patient. I’ve thought about that comment and, although we as wives may sometimes over-direct our families, I can’t imagine anyone, if they had the choice, not wanting a mother – grown or not.

Who wouldn’t want someone to unconditionally love them, support them in all their righteous endeavors, look out for their welfare, help them to grow and learn, bodyguard them in the face of any attack on their morale, self esteem or character, sacrifice for them, or give them an everything-will-be-all-right hug on the days when the world seems like it is deflating and crushing in on them?

In contrast, would someone want to stand alone, healing and helping themselves, finding themselves, learning on their own (sometimes not at all if they’re not motivated), with nobody to encourage them when they get down because they have a depend-on-nobody-but-yourself attitude?

I find the contrast stark and hard to believe that anyone would want to stand as an island – alone, fighting their way through this life instead of being pulled and guided along by a mother who loves and cares about their growth and destination.

And to think that we don’t need a mother is such a slap in the face of God who values the role of motherhood and a slap in the face to those who are mothers – to think that they are not needed????? It smacks of absurdity.

A person couldn’t be if they didn’t have a mother. Perhaps one, in their new-found motherless theories, ceases to be.

Even as an adult, whose mother has passed away, I long for a mother-role in my life. I’m not looking for someone to replace her, but I enjoy the relationships with people that I have who love me in spite of me, have faith in me no matter what I do, encourage me, lift me and tell me that I can, helps me to grow and direct me to new learning and new discoveries that benefit me and broaden my horizons.

I can’t imagine that it is such a difficult decision…

Motherless = a lonely island
Mother-loved = Disney land

I want the Disney Land and all of the happy, hopeful, wondrous, discovery-filled, I-can-do-and-be-anything feeling that it gives you – much like that of a Mother who loves you.


  1. I don't think everyone sees a mom as wonderfully as you do. But your point about mom vs. no mom is well taken. I chose my mom in the pre-existence; and finally here in earth life, I'm thnking I chose well that time.

  2. I was blessed to have an angel-mother who lavished us with unconditional love just because we were hers. She was such fun, a true kid a heart whose life was a constant example of service. She was my best friend and my greatest fan. I miss her every day.

  3. I miss my mom, too. She's been dead twenty years, but the hole she left never filled up.

    She was a Disneyland Mom, for sure. Thanks for the image. It fits.

  4. I miss my mom, too. She's been dead twenty years, but the hole she left never filled up.

    She was a Disneyland Mom, for sure. Thanks for the image. It fits.

  5. Sorry about the double post. I can't seem to get out of this window. It's like a time warp. It's like a time warp. It's like a time warp.

  6. I lost my mother almost 8 years ago now, and I still miss her terribly. Since I don't have a family of my own, and my brother and sister both live in other states, I often feel like the lonely island you described. I look forward to Disneyland again when I meet my mom again in heaven. But for now, I think I miss her hugs the most.

  7. Laughed and laughed at Liz's time warp! I had the same problem commenting on Stephanie's post.

  8. You are amazing, Faith! I wish everyone could have the blessing of a great Mom. I, too, knew my mother in the preexisitence...and chose well...and my heart hurts so much when I see "motherless" children. I recently learned that a young teenage friend of mine was told by her mother that she could help her with her weight showing her how to use meth..and yeah...the mom is a member of the church. Did any one on this blog see the "Happy Valley" movie???


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