Saturday, June 21, 2008

On Being Right

By Christine Thackeray

One of my greatest gifts and most horrific weaknesses is the fact that I really believe that I am usually right. It isn't just my opinion- it is the TRUTH! Often I do get things right on and am a strong leader because of it- but every once in a while it can be very embarassing like the time I got lost and turned around while driving. When I finally recognized where I was and went up a block I really believed someone had changed the street sign because I knew where I was! My husband was shocked by my surety and has rarely let me live it down.

A side shoot of this trait is that I have an increased drive to assert my opinion on others. Although my intentions are pure, if not checked it can lead to all sorts of problems. I remember one time my husband bought a used luxury car for far too much money (I knew) so I marched him back to the dealership and got them to lower the price and return our trade-in, much to my husband's embarrassment. I've restyled my children's hair, scrubbed their faces and corrected them in public far too often. It's something I'm trying to work on but just oozes out of me naturally.

So the last few weeks have been really stressful and I decided it was time to put a cork in it. I decided that I was going to be more kind, peaceful and just quiet. I've tried to let the little things go and allowed my children to leave the house with unbrushed hair and no shoes more often than I ever would have. Last night the family was watching a video together and I mentioned to my husband that he had to be up early for his 8:50 flight. He shook his head and told me that it wasn't until noon. I shrugged my shoulders and told him that I had seen 8:50 on the paper but if he was sure, that was fine. Normally I would have run downstairs, gotten the paper and shoved it in front of him to prove I was right, but I resisted and let it go.

Well, this morning he left at 10 am and was gone for only a few minutes when he huffed back through the front door and plopped in his recliner. He had missed his flight; it was at 8:50- I was right. Greg shook his head and said, "If you knew you were right why didn't you push it? Why didn't you force me into agreeing with you like you always do- that's why I married you?" So what I want to do is dance around and feel like I've been given free reign to be as assertive as I'd like but the truth is that I need to better temper when I stand up for truth and when I allow people to make their own choices without judgement-- at least, that is my opinion.

3 comments:

  1. I have times when I feel I'm right and people should listen. There's other times I know I'm right and know if people don't do what I say that their life will be in danger. There are yet other times I have learned from experience what is "right" but the persons I'm with still need to learn it, and there is no life-threatening circumstance. For the first and the last I have tried to keep my mouth shut. For the second, I will beg, plead, exhort, push, pull, stand on my head. Then when the person still does't do what I told them - and the consequense is very negative, I still feel guilty I didn't tried hard enough. I guess we are here on earth to help each other learn. Some of us have to learn different things.

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  2. Christine, I really look forward to meeting you in person. I used to lock horns with my brother because we both knew we were always right. We're goo friends now and I married a man with a similar personality. Yeah, sparks can fly sometimes. Thank goodness for the tempering teachings of our Savior! Studying the Plan of Salvation has taught me so much about agency and letting others make choices...now if I could just narrow the gap between what I know and what I do!!!!

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  3. I told my sister one time that the dictionary was wrong and I was right because the dictionary was too old and things had changed. That's how right I considered myself. BTW my sister NEVER lets me live that down, ha.

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