Sep 6, 2008


Communication—The Maker-Breaker of Any Relationship—Professional, Family, or Informal

It’s not only the words we say, but how we say them: It’s the intent, the hidden meanings, the blatant realities, and everything else from A to Z. It’s honesty or lies, love and or hate, excitement or boredom, wanting to share or wanting to hide, and everything in the dictionary plus all the new lingo that hasn’t made it there yet in every language, written or spoken, read, heard or felt.

We tell “little white lies” to cover up our mistakes, or prevent someone’s feelings from being hurt, or just out of habit. We pretend we are “listening” because we are busy, our minds are on other subjects, or we really don’t care. We wield our pens or other writing instruments with courage, blindly lashing out, and blithely hide behind the shield of not knowing or wanting to know the consequences of the message interpretation. We distance ourselves from people we do not want to associate with either because of personal hurt, prejudiced misconceptions, and pre-conceived notions.

By now I guess if you’ve read this far, you can tell I’m frustrated. I have put up walls around myself to protect me from hurt because of past experiences that affected my health and happiness. The barriers I put there also prevent others from being able to get past to help, hold and comfort me. I say things that probably bounce right back at me, rather than penetrating through for full understanding and true communication.

So, one of my goals now is to listen, with full attention, all my heart and mind. Speak with kindness and thoroughness, and then take the time to make sure the reception was clear.

This should help at work, church, home, and with family, friends and acquaintances of any duration.

Thanks for letting me vent,


  1. It's not just what we say........or even how we say it, sometimes the circumstances in which we say them can have a profound out come on how what we say is perceived. example:We might tell a joke at a wedding that everyone would laugh at and enjoy, however if we told the same joke, with the exact same words and form of a funeral, no one would laugh and it would evoke an entirely different response. Same words........different cicumstances, entirely different outcome.
    Jan Larsen

  2. Years ago, I learned a wonderful thing: it is as important to say the right thing the right way as it is to say the right thing. That has helped me many times when I would have rushed in and created a bigger mess in my attempt to fix one. Of course, I haven't been perfect in this either. Hang in there, it does get better.

  3. Hmmmm...very important thoughts, Margaret! I have also discovered the importance of knowing when to say nothing at all. That is a difficult one for me.

    I feel your frustration...and the need for walls. I know the goals you have set will help you. Thanks for sharing!


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