Jan 4, 2009

Where have all the good men gone?

My sister pointed something out to me and I didn’t at first believe her. Until I looked. I started to observe the media, to really see what they were telling us. ‘The Simpsons’, ‘Family Guy’, Home Improvement’, ‘The King of Queens’, and so many more show the man to be useless, dumb, and unnecessary. They make for a good laugh. They are the punch line. IKEA ran a commercial where there was too much stuff to all fit in/on the car, so the husband road on the roof and the wife drove away with a smile. A cartoon, ‘The Pride Family’, portrays the father as being a fool who the daughter and wife laugh at. The classic fairy tale where the hero rescues the heroin is practically done away with.

It’s come on so subtly that I wasn’t even aware of its existence. I began to see that the world proclaimed and celebrated something that wasn’t the truth. In fact, this ‘celebration’ was damaging to our eternal happiness and wholeness. This idea is a simple one, yet so far reaching. It is the confusion of the roles of men and women, and the idea that men are worthless and unnecessary to our overall fulfillment and happiness...and that the only way to be an honorable woman is to do everything and beat up all the men in the process.

I have nothing against tough or independent women, I’m one myself. I wrestled in high school, have held more men dominated jobs than not, and enjoy outdoor activities more than most. But I am still a woman. My divine nature is that of nurturing, rearing, and lifting up my husband and children. I am not complete without a man to stand by my side, just as he is not complete without me. God made us both, individually divine, and very different from each other. ‘The Family: A Proclamation to the World’ tells us what our divine roles are and how to honor ourselves and the Lord by honoring our roles. To celebrate womanhood and femininity; manhood and masculinity. To do so takes strength, I think.

So, where have all the good men gone? Where are all our heroes? I believe that they are still there. Our husbands, our brothers, our friends, our fathers. Most men deserve our respect and honor because they are heroes. My husband battles the world every day to provide for us all, so that I may stay home and raise our child. He holds on his shoulders the responsibility for our financial and physical welfare. He is my hero.

I believe there are many heroes out there. We just need to help them become the heroes that they potentially can become, and honor them for all the hard work they do, so often without acknowledgement. That’s my schpeel…what do you think?


  1. Love your post!
    I agree! The war against the family is a full fledged non- gender war.
    I'm ashamed to say that...after 16 years of marriage...sometimes loving my husband is a chore more than a blessing.
    Thanks for reminding me he is my HERO...and I am grateful for him. Thank goodness he loves me and puts up with me.

  2. Great post, Shawnette! Interestingly enough, I had a similar conversation just this morning. A sister in the ward brought up that same subject..about how the media portrays men in such a negative light. And it's usually the shows that the teens and young adults watch the most. I am so grateful for my own husband who sacrifices so much to support our family. What ever happened to shows like The Cosby's where both parents are strong and show respect for each other and for their children?

  3. I'm not and never have been married, but when I grow discouraged about the "men of the world", I turn my focus toward the General Authorities. The kind of love and appreciation they express for their wives at General Conference always renews my hope in "good men". When I'm looking for heroes, those are the men I look toward. (Them, and one of my former bishops. He's my hero, too!)

  4. I've been noticing this for the last few years. Husbands and dads are so important to our families, to our society. I think this is a symptom of the decline of our morals.

    I love the "Have you been a dad today?" commercials.

    Thanks for your great comments.
    Steph Anderson

  5. Thank you everyone for your GREAT comments! I love the comment about the war against the family being a ‘full fledged non-gender war.’ When our roles are mixed up, so much more is affected! It makes me feel great that others see this as well. I know that many don’t and it was really refreshing to hear so many women agree.
    I totally agree that the General Authorities are a wonderful example of ‘good men’. It’s awesome that we have someplace to look to for that comfort. Husbands and dads ARE so important to us all and I personally felt such a difference, a relief almost, when I stopped competing and started complementing…

  6. Even my sons, 10 & 12, have noticed and commented on how boys are negatively portrayed on television. Thanks for the reminder to look for and appreciate the heroes around us--I'll use it for myself and my children as well.

  7. Kari's comment about the Cosby's reminded me of something I once heard about Bill Cosby. When asked why did a sit-com when he was so successful as a stand-up comedian, he responded that the sit com offers the best place for a comedian to be able to encourage and teach family love and family values.

    I guess most comedians have lost sight of that fact.

    - Chas


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