FEAR of Letting My Baby Go.

by Cindy R. Williams

I realized I have been tweaking my middle grade fantasy for about six months now. I could continue to tweak it for another . . . millennium or so. Why don't I let my baby go?

I curled up on a bunch of yummy pillows and considered what is really going on. I am afraid of failing. I love my story, I love my characters, but what if others don't. I am holding my novel close, trying to protect it, and in doing so, I am smothering it.

I realized this is just like the situation of my son going on a mission to Brazil. I love him. What if others are not kind to him? What if he is harmed? I wanted to keep him close and protect him. I reflected back on the morning he flew from Phoenix, to Salt Lake City to enter the MTC. I awoke from a fitful all nighter worrying about my son - wondering if I had the strength to let him go. Sobbing, I rolled off the bed onto my knees and poured my heart out to Heavenly Father. I asked for protection for my son and to find comfort to face his departure today. Within minutes, I found the answer. I turned my son back over to Heavenly Father for the upcoming two years. I asked him to watch over him, be with him, protect him, comfort and guide him. As soon as I released him, peace filled me from head to toe like a warm, snugly blanket. I rose to my feet with a calm heart. I stood in the airport and watched him walk away with a spring in his step, excited for his new adventure. Sure, tears still rolled down my cheeks, but I knew he would be well taken care of.

My son, Elder Jordan Williams, squatting down on the front right.  Very, very, and I mean VERY far away, somewhere in Brazil.

What does this have to do with my novel? Just as our lovely children will always be our babies, we must let them go to grow, to let them go forth and bless others. So must I do with my book. My book deserves to see the written page, and I must rise to the occasion and let it soar.

My query is done. My ten pages are attached. I will push the "send" button this afternoon then take a big breath and do a silly jig. I will turn it over to the Lord and what will be will be.

Oh, and by the way, on the day this blog posts, my missionary will be home in 19 days. The Lord took my son and will bring me home a fine young man. Life is good, VERY good!

If you are still reading . . . don't forget the greatest writers conference in the world. ANWA's 20th Annual Writers Conference Time Out for Writers on February 23-25, 2012. Registration opens October 1 on www.anwa-lds.com.  Incredible classes, agents, editors, pitch sessions, critique camp, BOB/Beginning of Book Contest, Book readings, Meet & Greet the agents and editors will have bookstore reps there to schedule books signings. A great chance to improve your writing no matter what your goals are. The entire conference will be at the luxurious Mesa Hilton Hotel. ANWA booked a block of rooms at a great discount for you. If you want more info on the ANWA conference, and boy do I have tons, leave a comment here with your email addy, and I will get back to you. (They tell me I am the ANWA Events Co-Chair which means I get the priveledge to eat and sleep "all things ANWA Conference" for the next 159  days until the conference, not that I'm counting.)

Hope to see all of you there!