Saturday, February 14, 2015

Valentines Day

by Cindy R. Williams

This year is a different Valentines Day for our family. Usually I think of spending some time with my husband, but for the past eight months we have his mother living with us 24/7 so things have changed drastically. M-I-L has Alzheimer's. Every day is a strange day. You think you have a pattern or things figured out then she acts entirely out of character or better said, she acts like a character which is, in fact, the norm.

We have invited the two siblings that live in town to take a turn on Saturdays and spend some time with their Mom. They didn't sign up to care for her so it isn't their responsibility. They're too busy. She has become nothing but a nuisance to them. Besides, their wives don't even like her, so the sons would get "stuck" with her and they are uncomfortable with how strange she has become.

They don't get that you need a break. They think you're just whining. And besides, they didn't sign up to care for her so it isn't their responsibility. They're too busy. She has become nothing but a nuisance to them. Besides, their wives don't even like her, so the sons would get "stuck" with her and they are uncomfortable with how strange she has become.

Heartbreaking, to say the least for my dear M-I-L. None of them will go with me to any training classes or her doctor appointments. Now, having cried over my milk here, I must add that one brother does visit her twice a month from three to five hours each time. However, according to the wife, M-I-L is not allowed to sleep at their house, so no over-nighters. Good thing my side of the family with no blood relation to my M-I-L is stepping in to give us a little relief. My own father died of Alzheimer's and they understand the importance of family support for the primary care-giver.

3 comments:

  1. Gosh I wonder what will happen when something like that happens to someone they love or worse yet to them. Hang in there, you are doing the good work.

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  2. OH Cindy, bless your heart for caring for you sweet MIL...and what a blessing to you and your family. I watched my MIL care for my FIL - and we had them stay in our home on a number of occasions before he got so bad she couldn't travel any more. I used to sit with my great-grandmother after her dementia got bad. And you know what? There would always be a lucid moment - an unexpected gift when her eyes would light up with recognition and a sweet message would be relayed. I know it's hard, but your MIL's other children are missing out on a magnificent opportunity to experience the true meaning of love and service. I'm sorry things are so difficult for you right now. I'm so glad you do have support from the rest of your family. hugs~

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  3. Thanks for reading my wine fest. I feel a bit self-conscious about it all.

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