Valentines Day

by Cindy R. Williams

This year is a different Valentines Day for our family. Usually I think of spending some time with my husband, but for the past eight months we have his mother living with us 24/7 so things have changed drastically. M-I-L has Alzheimer's. Every day is a strange day. You think you have a pattern or things figured out then she acts entirely out of character or better said, she acts like a character which is, in fact, the norm.

We have invited the two siblings that live in town to take a turn on Saturdays and spend some time with their Mom. They didn't sign up to care for her so it isn't their responsibility. They're too busy. She has become nothing but a nuisance to them. Besides, their wives don't even like her, so the sons would get "stuck" with her and they are uncomfortable with how strange she has become.

They don't get that you need a break. They think you're just whining. And besides, they didn't sign up to care for her so it isn't their responsibility. They're too busy. She has become nothing but a nuisance to them. Besides, their wives don't even like her, so the sons would get "stuck" with her and they are uncomfortable with how strange she has become.

Heartbreaking, to say the least for my dear M-I-L. None of them will go with me to any training classes or her doctor appointments. Now, having cried over my milk here, I must add that one brother does visit her twice a month from three to five hours each time. However, according to the wife, M-I-L is not allowed to sleep at their house, so no over-nighters. Good thing my side of the family with no blood relation to my M-I-L is stepping in to give us a little relief. My own father died of Alzheimer's and they understand the importance of family support for the primary care-giver.