Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Life of a Cat

By Betsy Love

If I believed in reincarnation, I decided I’d be a cat. My cat is the proud owner of our home without paying one single mortgage payment. She sleeps when and wherever she wants, eats as much as she wants, whenever she wants, gets as fat as she wants. There are no worries over bills, or maintenance of the house or yard. If she requires attention all she need do is cry about it, and someone jumps to see what her desire is. She is queen of the castle and knows it.

As for me? I am her loyal servant. The minute I walk in the door she greets me with, “Meow, meow, meow.” The interpretation is, “Where have you been? I was lonely. And don’t touch me, I just cleaned my fur.” I tell myself every day when I get home from work that I am going to completely ignore her. The results? “Meow, meow, meow,” until I look into her gleaming yellow eyes and answer to her complaints, “Excuse, me, I’m the ruler here. What took you so long? And fill my water dish, again.”

If I could be a cat I’d come home and say to my family, “Whine, whine, whine.” Interpreted means, “When’s dinner? Somebody else has to do the dishes. And I’m going to get on my computer and don’t bother me.” Of course the reality is that my family thinks they are all cats too. “Take me to the store. I need $60 dollars for a swimsuit. Help me with my homework.”

Maybe I’ll be a hamster.

6 comments:

  1. Don't you just hate when you create the "perfect" blog, only to realize you have a typo? That second line should read "one single mortgage". Sheesh

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  2. Very clever -- and a perfect blog. Even the second line looked fine to me. Thanks.

    Besides, you're right about cats. I recall blogging about how our cat once very carefully licked my whole injured wrist and hand, but it was the only time. Now she's like the cat you describe. I'm ready to give her away. After all, it's MY prerogative to demand attention -- not hers.

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  3. Loved your entry. I'm a dog person myself and have often commented that if it turns out the Buddhists are right, and we come back, I want to be the pampered beloved dog of a very rich lady. I'm sure my dogs feel the same since I am not rich!!!

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  4. Great blog, Betsy. I love it. Our cat has a nasty habit of rubbing up against my legs, winding in and out between my feet. When I move to walk away, he jumps out in front of me and frequently gets kicked across the floor ( accidently of course), or trips me up. He also insists that I literally touch his food to show him it's okay, before he'll eat it. Yah, I'd say cats have it pretty good.

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  5. You are so right about cats. I have three (long story) and there's no question about who manages things at our house. They are indoor cats (yuk) because in the desert a stray cat is coyote food, so my husband, an engineer type, says we have "too much cat pressure." Love him and them, though. They make life interesting. Rene

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  6. Betsy,

    Your post made me LOL! I have two cats, and I know exactly what you mean! When I frown at them, hands on hips, and demand, "Who's the boss around here?", the only possible answer is, "Meow, meow, meow". (Interpretation: "I am! Now feed me, before I take an appetizer out of your ankle."

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