Sep 9, 2009

Not Coming from Me

by Kirsten Millsap

I always know when the things I am writing are coming from me or from Heaven...under my own power, the things I write come slowly, and sometimes...painfully. But when the unseen hand of angelic inspiration takes over these typing fingers, it's altogether different...easier.
For instance:

I am in the midst of creating this year's Stake Christmas Concert--a very large endeavor that munches about seven months of my year--and I do everything. Everything! I come up with the theme, select the music (and in this year's case--write music for it) audition the performers, call in favors from a few of my professional singing buddies to take key performances, write the narration, pull together the photos for the power point display, create the videos that run during the show, arrange and attend rehearsals, deal with cantankerous, non-LDS sound and lighting engineers (while keeping them from swearing in the chapel), pull together the advertising, the programs, the ushers and then direct the whole she-bang. This year I'm cutting myself a break; I'm not less hat to wear.

You may ask..."Why doesn't she ask for help? Is she a control freak?" Well...yes and no. I am a control freak, in that I am willing and able to spend ten hour days running errands and sitting in my chair creating the show, and I can trust that I will work myself stupid getting it right. Will others have that same dedication? Not in my experience. This is why I do it all. Thankfully, Heavenly Father has been generous in sending a talented choir director to my rescue, and she is a hard worker with her heart in the right place...I consider myself blessed to work with her. less hat to wear.

But I still wear all the other hats, like the hat salesman in that famous kid's book...the one with the mischevious hat-stealing monkey. The question of who is actually wearing the writing-hat, can be answered easily; if my fingers are stumbling over the keyboard, and my mind drifts to the chocolate I have secreted away in my drawer...well...I am most definately on my own, and quite possibly going in the wrong direction. Like the first year I did the concert: I wanted certain songs in the show, but Heavenly Father had a different idea. And I couldn't write the narrations until I had prayed for guidence and gave my will over to His. I realized I was on the wrong course, and when I made the changes neccessary, the narrations flowed like stumbling, no rewrites...and no chocolate breaks. And one very large hat removed from my weary head.

The pleasure I feel when working this close with the spirit is unmatched; it is indescribable. At no other time, do I feel this close to the Lord...until I get a wild hair, and start running down the wrong ideas again, at which point I get dumped, and get no where. So I pray everyday. Read my scriptures more, try to get to the temple more (which reminds me; I'm due for a session this week) and just generally try to keep myself in the "Shiny-Spirit-Zone".

At least this way I get seven months of being a Molly-MO (minus all the bread making, since I haven't the time). Now if I could just get the other five months to match...Oh! I know!! Maybe I'll put together an Easter program!!!

Nahhhh...probably won't...I'm not really an Easter-Hat kinda girl.


  1. I like your message of letting the spirit guide. When we do everything just flows.

    And what blessings you give to everyone who benefits from your dedication!

  2. Interesting Blog, just one question though, what about letting others serve with you so they too can enjoy the spirit and blessing of serving? Now of course this is spoken from an outsider who also tends to be a control freak, and not privy to your guidance from the Spirit.

  3. I had an experience once very similar to yours...I was in charge of the music for YA dance. The Spirit kept whispering to me something wasn't right and the song a leader was complaining about he had wrong...yet I couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. Then one day close to the dance, I discovered that one of the songs was about a subject (sneaky) entirely inappropriate for a church dance. I deleted the song, kept the other one and everything felt right and went well. You just can't beat the Spirit can you?

  4. Love your post! Love the reminder of the importance of being in the "Shiny-Spirit-Zone." I remember thinking on various occasions about being patient and creating peace in the home because of certain assignments..and when I was called to be RS president I wondered...:"When will I get to yell at my hubby?"..LOL..of course the answer was NEVER!


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