By Wendy A. Jones
I've always had adequacy issues.
Thankfully, I've come a long way in the past two years, but there are still times when I think, "I'm just not enough. What should I do?"
As I went to compose this blog post yesterday, my adequacy issues again appeared, with their wolfish grins and mocking eyes.
I had read through the past couple of weeks of posts on this blog and felt painfully, woefully inadequate.
"Who are you to think you can write?" the wolfish-grin-eye-mockers asked.
"I don't know," I said, my voice very small. I put my laptop away, knowing I couldn't put it off indefinitely--I had a deadline!
All the ideas I had had were half-formed, disconnected blobs of thought. I went to bed last night still unsure of which way to go.
I found my way this morning, after reading 1 Corinthians 12:14-27.
For the body is not one member, but many.
If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?
But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.
And if they were all one member, where were the body?
But now are they many members, yet one body.
And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.
Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary.
And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.
For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:
That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.
And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.
Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.
I sometimes wonder, when I think about the gifts and talents I've been blessed with, "Why?" Why was I made the way I am? Why can't I be more like ___________, who is so good at _________?
This scripture gives me comfort; it shows me that even though I may not have the same gifts as other people, my gifts are still important.
I am part of the body.
Take that, adequacy issues!
I am humbled to be not only a member of the Church, but also of this writing organization where there isn't fighting over who gets to be the eyes and who gets to be the feet. Each member helps the others; we sorrow and rejoice over the rejection and successes of everyone in ANWA.
Later on in that chapter of 1 Corinthians, it talks about "coveting the best gifts." So it's okay to want a particular gift--to ask for it, and try to nurture it. But it's okay, too, when your gifts are on par with an appendix or a spleen. Then we bounce back to the parable of the talents--it's all right to be an appendix or a spleen as long as you're being an appendix or a spleen ("I'm an appendix and I'm proud!"), as long as you aren't hiding your candle under a bushel, as long as you're using your gifts to benefit others.
Be the best spleen you can be.
I wish I knew how to cross-stitch.