May 25, 2011

Funny Girl

"Do you ever feel inadequate?" my co-star, Darci asked me back-stage a few months ago.

"Sure," I whispered back as I shrugged. "You'll do great. Don't worry about it."

"No, I mean," she continued, "like as a woman in the church and in life and everything. Like everyone else is so much better at it all and you just don't measure up?"

I have to admit, I've never really felt exactly that way but I could understand on some level how she felt so I replied, "Sure. Everyone does. Oh, that's your queue!" I nudged her out on stage.

More recently I found myself surrounded by a gaggle of women called together to throw a baby shower. We were waiting for a few more to show up but the room was quickly becoming crowded. The weird thing? You could have heard a pin drop. Nobody was talking. It dawned on me that there was not an extrovert among us. Time to use my talents. I began asking people questions in true Oprah style. I cracked some jokes, offered to help out with the food, and generally sprang to life. Soon the room began buzzing and I could relax.

As I relayed to my husband later that night how I often feel like the "life of the party" among certain groups of women (not a role I normally find myself in) he reminded me that we all have different roles in certain circles. My thoughts went back to Darci's question. Do I ever feel inadequate? Maybe not inadequate, but often I feel like I'm the "funny girl" and that I need to be "on" for the sake of others.

If I were to put myself into a place like in Pride and Prejudice I think the people might find me to be too jovial, boisterous, or outgoing for their taste. I am uncomfortable at the "quiet tea party" and prefer the room full of various conversations going on at once. Sometimes that makes me feel like I don't "fit in" or rather that I fit into a different group. I'm failing to find that group among the women in my ward. I think I need to throw a luncheon and keep inviting different women until I no longer find myself needing to be "on" all the time.

Do you relate to finding yourself fulfilling a certain "role" that you didn't really know was yours except in certain company?


  1. awesome! it was really funny post! I always like to read your blog post..

  2. You've given me something to think about. I think the answer is yes. great post.

  3. Yes, to your question and yes to the question posed by the woman you were trying to comfort. Both are ongoing challenges for me.

  4. Different hats for different roles.

  5. Yes, and yes. Great post, Kami. Thank you.


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