Lost Childhood

by Marsha Ward

Last night I went to Wal*Mart with two items on my to-buy list: Play Doh® and marbles. Since I went in hungry, I bought a whole boatload of unnecessary items, but that's a topic for another day. I wanted to expound on how hard it was to actually buy both items.

I found the tubs of goop without too much problem. I think they were on the fourth or fifth aisle I checked (How many aisles are in a Wal*Mart toy department, anyway?!?! Twelve, fourteen? And our store is a smaller one.)

Argh! The tangents!

Back to the second item: marbles.

Children, these are marbles. They are used in a game called "marbles" that can be played at recess. It's tons of fun!

I went down every single aisle twice. I checked the end-caps thoroughly. I checked the mid-aisle displays. Did I find marbles?

No.

I wondered if I would, but no, I didn't find jacks, either.

Children, here you see ten jacks and two rubber balls. One or two friends sit on the sidewalk, tucking their skirts beneath their legs so as not to show too much flesh. One player tosses a ball up into the air and grabs first one jack off the sidewalk before the ball bounces, and on the next throw, grabs two jacks. Play continues until the first player misses getting the correct number of jacks. Then the next player takes a turn. It's wonderfully entertaining, and much more fun than texting friends! You can actually talk to them while you play.

People, jacks and marbles were the staple recess toys of my generation. They are gone. GONE.
G O N E!

I told myself, "Don't panic. You've seen marbles in the craft aisle. They are used to put into flower vases and such." So I went there.

This is what I found:

Forty ounces of clear marbles, priced at nearly five bucks. Oy! I only need about twenty marbles. I wandered around the craft aisle, considering my options.

I could purchase hollow plastic grapes and rip them off the vines for my purpose.

They were a bit pricey for that destruction. Besides, the texture would be wrong.

At length, I settled on buying "green gems." What the heck are "green gems," anyway? What are they used for? Filling flower vases?

The photo doesn't do the objects justice. They are flattened disks of various colors and textures. They are not marbles, but the packaged amount is right and the price is certainly right. I don't need forty ounces of plain jane clear marbles nohow.

Real marbles are gone, folks. You can't get them at your local five-and-dime.

Oops, the five-and-dime stores are gone, too.

But good news!!! You can purchase jacks and marbles at such online wonderlands as Old Time Candy. Just click on the "Retro Toys" tab. I think I never paid more than 49¢ for a set of jacks, though.

You're probably wondering why I want Play Doh® and marbles. I'm going to make myself a rehab kit to see if I can improve my grip. Not only is my childhood lost, but I'm losing my grip, too! Along with my marbles.

All puns intended.