The Perfect Gift

by Valerie Ipson

I bought a very cool kitchen gadget recently. It's called a safe can opener. It opens cans somehow just under the lid's rim and not around the top, thus no sharp edges to cause nasty nicks and cuts. Believe me, I know about those because I have been wrestling with my old can opener--the one that developed the sadistic habit of always leaving the can uncut in two sections of the lid, and always on opposite sides, so it took the jaws of life, or really brave fingers, to pry it up enough to scrape out its contents a teaspoonful at a time.

Anyway, as I was using my safe can opener last evening, cutting along so safely and all, I sighed a happy, contented sigh--the kind that can only come when using awesome, cool kitchen gadgets that work the way they are supposed to. I remembered all the other sweet gadgets I had seen at Albertsons when seeking out the can opener...a variety of knives, garlic presses, pastry brushes, flexible cutting boards. Yes, that's what I said...FLEXIBLE CUTTING BOARDS. I mean, how have I lived without a flexible cutting board? I just don't know. According to the photo, you chop the vegies, then pull up the sides to dump them ALL ENTIRELY INTO YOUR PAN. Revolutionary, my friends. Life would be complete if Santa brought me one this year.

In fact, when my husband asked for Christmas gift ideas, several of these kitchen gadgets topped the list. He balked at my suggestions, saying they were household items. (I've taught him so well, haven't I?) My oldest daughter also complained, saying, "These are things you just go buy, they don't go on your Christmas list." (I've taught her well, too). Sisters, I'll understand if you choose not to allow your husbands, family members, and friends to read this--and yes, I've seen the video making the email rounds of men who were put in "the doghouse" because they bought their wives "household" items as gifts. One gave his wife a really nice vacuum, but I'm here to say, "Give me a vacuum, make it a Dyson. I'm okay with that."

I must be getting old. My Christmas gifts no longer define me. No longer will I be offended by the gift of a potholder. (Have you seen my crusty, scorched collection of potholders? Seriously, new ones are in order). I guess I figure if it will make me happy, then it's the perfect gift. And when I am pressing garlic and brushing pastries and chopping on flexible cutting boards...believe me, I will be so happy!

If you don't have a safe can opener, you should ask for one for Christmas.