by Marielle Carlisle
Two weeks ago I made dinner for a lady friend in my ward who had just gone through her final surgery for cancer. This last Sunday we were chatting about the meal, and she mentioned that sometimes when people had dropped dinners off for her, she would thank them for their kindness, and they would said something like "I'm not a very good cook, and my kids always gag when they eat my food, but here you go."
What is she supposed to do with that? Say thank you? Or throw it away?
I've noticed that I too offer a 'disclaimer' for things.
After I cut my daughter's hair, people would comment on her haircut, and I would say, "yeah, well, it's crooked in the back." Even I have to admit that you can't really tell that it's uneven.
Or one time I threw a multi-pool party in our backyard for all my daughter's little friends, and as people were arriving and getting settled, I apologized for the mud tracked onto the concrete. People hadn't even noticed until I pointed it out.
It's like I know I'm not perfect, and I'm letting people know before hand so they don't think I have a superiority complex or something.
Or maybe I do know I'm perfect, but I don't want people to feel bad, so I try and find a mistake or flaw in something that has been complimented.
Why do we do this to ourselves? What I should really do is say "thank you," and move on.
And if you're making dinner for people, for goodness sake just drop it off with love, not an apology.