Sep 8, 2010

What Makes a Friend?

"You find out who you're friends are
Somebody's gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas get there fast
Never stop to think 'what's in it for me' or 'it's way too far'
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who you're friends are"
("You Find Out Who Your Friends Are" by Tracy Lawrence)

How do you find out who your friends are? We all like to think we are a good friend. But, when push comes to shove, your true friends are those who are "there for you" when you have a problem. 

Last week, I took a friend home after work because her car wouldn't start. She lives half an hour in the opposite direction from my house, but I was happy to help her out, even though it took me nearly an hour to get home. As she got out of the car, she said, "I may need you to pick me up in the morning." The next day we were going to be working in different places, and I would have had to leave my house 45 minutes early in order to pick her up, drop her off, and get to work on time. But I told her to call me and I would see what I could work out. Fortunately, she managed to get a ride the next morning.

Well, the following day, she called me and asked me to do her another favor. She mentioned after she dropped some things off at my school, she had no work to do. So, I asked her to help me out because I'm currently snowed over. I assumed (wrongly) that because I often give her rides to workshops and do her other favors, she would reciprocate. Well, she agreed, then later emailed to say she couldn't make it. No offers to help out any other day, even though her workload is very light this year.

Well, this stung. I was shocked that she wouldn't return the many favors I had done for her. Not sure how I'm going to react when I see her today . . . or the next time she asks for a favor.

Another good friend at work always greets me with "Hello, my friend!" This makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. We help each other out on a regular basis, and feel confident that no matter what else is going on, we are there for each other, both inside and out of work. We take turns driving when going to the same places, celebrate the victories in each other's lives, and regularly go out of our way to help each other out.

After all, that's what friends are for.

Today, take a little time to thank Heavenly Father for the good friends in your life. They're not that easy to find, and each one is a blessing.


  1. I've been the one who helps and the one's been helped. Never had that experience. Sounds like you don't have a real friend there.

  2. Hey! I'm sewing with mine today! Well, she's sewing, I'm making my blog rounds but I'm sure to catch up.

  3. A good point. Friendship is give and take. What you have is a donor and a parasite. You are a good woman.

  4. I am very grateful for good friends. That includes family members. What a blessing!

  5. Amen. A good two-sided friendship makes the going lighter.


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