Strength Beyond My Own

by Kari Diane Pike

I will be at the retreat when this post comes up. I am very excited at the prospect of having oodles of time to devote to research and writing...renewing friendships and making new friends.

Two weeks ago I put my nineteen-year-old son on a plane to Salt Lake City...and the MTC. All of his brothers and sisters and and nieces and nephews came home to see him off. We had a marvelous two weeks full of swimming, BBQ's, chalk drawings, water bottle rockets, stories, laughter and tears. Many of you know that my husband has been working out of state and that we have been trying to sell our home in Phoenix. While I don't excell at the single parent thing...I have a great deal of support from family and ward members. I thought I was handling things pretty well. Last week a couple of events sent me into a downward spiral. I fell apart. I couldn't think. I couldn't cope...

I got out my scriptures and on my knees. I thought about the challenges I faced. I pondered on the role each challenge played in my life and I thought, "Which challenge would I ask Heavenly Father to take from me?" I quickly came to the conclusion that the answer is "None of them!" I wouldn't have him take a child, or my husband, my parents, or the job. I wouldn't have Him remove any of these things. This is when I knew it was time to humbly admit that I was not strong enough to face all these challenges on my own and ask for that strength beyond my own that we are promised as we strive to make and keep our covenants. Little promptings have come here and there to help me take care of myself and my family. Others have followed promptings to offer services that I didn't even know I needed. I've accomplished more in the last five days, than in the last 5 weeks. I feel joy...and peace...and immense gratitude.