by Faith St. Clair
Like many of you who have chimed into this blog site, I am glad to see the 2006 year go away, but sorrowful at the same time. I’m glad to see the struggles of 2006 melt away – the discord in our home, the tensions at work, the 11 funerals of dear friends, a sister, a brother and a mother…but at the same it means that those loved ones have to go with it. I’m grateful for the knowledge of the gospel that teaches me of a reunion with our loved ones again, of the plan of salvation, of a merciful God. I look forward to seeing them again, but for this mortal moment, I will miss them and will have to work hard at putting one foot in front of the other in the lonely snatches of time wherein I feel like their presence in my life was the only thing that propelled me forward.
I will remember all that they taught me, both the good and the bad. I will see their faces for as long as I’m allowed to remember them and will hear their laughter and their voices for as long as it is important. Then after that, what is left of their souls will have been merged with mine and I can walk together with them throughout my mortality - hopefully a better person than what I was before they crossed my path.
It is the same with our Heavenly Father, and our brother, Jesus Christ. Although I wasn’t around to feel the sorrow of Christ’s immediate death, I am reminded of it. I don’t remember exactly what his face looked like, nor can I hear his voice. But what remains is his spirit in me (at least I can hope and work to have it there) - His love, His service, His kindness, and His diligence in doing the right thing.
I will walk through this mortality with all that my Mother has taught me and left me with. I will walk through this mortality with all that my siblings and friends have taught me and left me with. I hope to walk through this mortality with all that He has taught me and left me with.
I have often wondered why in the pictures of Christ we never see Him smiling. I asked about this when I was just seven years old. What I’ve gathered as a response since then is that the burdens He had to carry and the witnessing of our sins, weighed upon his soul. But through his pain, I have learned to have joy. Because I have gratitude, I have joy.
I am grateful that He chose to bear our sins. I am grateful he offered to wear the mantel that says he is the Judge, not I. I am grateful for repentance and I am grateful for faith, for the degree of my joy is linked to the degree of my faith in all things.
I’m excited that I can choose to smile. I thrill to know that I can find the good part in all things. I cheer knowing that happiness is intentional and I intend to garner all that is allowed me.
I will use the lessons of my trials and the memories of loved ones to propel me forward into a new year of hope and adventure – a year of exciting new challenges, new loves and new friendships.
Ready for take off?
Faith,
ReplyDeleteWhat a heart felt post! It touched my soul.
I know the feeling of losing loved ones, and can relate to your pain. You're right, though, we have the knowledge of the gospel to propel us through mortal life.
My thoughts are with you.
Debbie
Whew, you've gone through a lot this past year, Faith. It has tempered you, and you are finer for the experiences and because of your faith in Jesus Christ.
ReplyDeleteVery sweet blog. Thank you!
Wow, your words are so touching to me personally as well. We lost my stepfather unexpectedly over Thanksgiving. He wasn't a member but my mother is. He was a good man to all of us but adored and worshipped my mother. She's feeling all the same things you mentioned. The loneliness is new to her, having married my dad at 17 and now here she is 71 and alone for the first time. Faith is the only thing that gets it through but it doesn't necessarily make the road any easier.
ReplyDeleteI had to scroll down to the bottom before I was a quarter of the way through to see who had such tragedies in one year. Hard times. Hard times. But it looks like you've come through them stronger. Thanks for sharing.
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ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how faith and gratitude can help you through the toughest of times. Thanks for sharing a big dose of both of those two things with the rest of us in your touching post!
ReplyDeleteCecily