by Marsha Ward
Sometimes I get way too much silly pass-along email, but this one I got yesterday seemed to hit the spot for writers. These are supposedly actual headlines.
(Needless to say, we all need to proofread very carefully! Any first person statement below is by Anonymous.)
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day. Too funny.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya think?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
Thanks for the laughs! These are so funny. You could be send these to the Jay Leno show.
ReplyDeleteFunny!
ReplyDeleteThis is a huge problem where I work. I have one boss that wants perfection and another boss who only wants names right...we try to please both, but find we are definitely having proofing issues...my take, for the first time in mu 14 years here, we do not have a proofer.
ReplyDeleteI love these! Too cute.
ReplyDeleteAlmost as funny as the church newsletter ones.
Thank you so much for this post! I laughed so hard I cried, which doesn't happen very often. In fact, I was laughing so hard that my alarmed husband came busting in the room asking me why I was crying. Then he read the post and he laughed, too. :) Thanks again!
ReplyDeleteThanks Marsha, I found myself laughing out loud, which seemed so strange since I'm all alone in my writing corner. Glad no one was home. They would have laughed at me.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHA! I think you cured my migraine today. Thanks Marsha! I need to go back and proof read my paper!
ReplyDeleteSo funny. Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDelete