May 25, 2010

I Remain Confused

by Terri Wagner

We all know the truth. When the bishop (branch president in my case) assigns you a topic for a talk, it's really Heavenly Father letting you know what you need to know at this time in your life. I had a great deal of difficulty with my recent topic of first thought was what can you say that isn't don't do this and don't do that...and then my second thought was everyone especially our girls are wonderful at this...and my third thought was about tying the dress to the behavior something President Kimball felt strongly about.

In the end, I got to church and the stake president was there...yikes, what on earth was this about???? Then I was asked to lead the music which is sorta a joke because I lead terribly but no one watches you anyway and the fill in pianist was worried as well. With leading, a talk and the Gospel Doctrine class, I felt like everyone had had enough of me...only my niece was giving the RS lesson. And I feel compelled to "help" her out.

I stood in front of everyone and thought for a brief second here goes the worst talk of my life..I certainly felt that way when I sat down. Imagine my shock when everyone including the stake president complimented me. And not the usual it-was-a-wonderful talk but actually parroted back to me what I said or thought I said, did I really say that? I didn't feel the Spirit "take over" as I have before...I wasn't my best. My topic wasn't (I'm confessing here) all that interesting to me. Why happened? Why the over-the-top response to my inchorent babbling?

Earlier this week, I posted my prologue and first three chapters of "our" fantasy novel to my co author. I thought it was great...I really laid it out in an Artemis Fowl kind of way. I loved the characters I created, the really cool goddess who sometimes answers prayers in a dramatic fashion, the 8 and 4 year old boys at the woodcutter's cottage. And my co author hated it...blasted it to bits. I was reeling from her criticism and chagrined to think I thought it was so good.

So between a talk I thought was awful and a storyline I thought was terrific and the responses I got, I remain confused. Does this happen to other people?


  1. Whoopee! Sorry; I had to get that out first.

    It is so wonderful to know that I am not alone. I cannot offer any insight to assuage your confusion but I can embrace you in this mutual experience! This type of experience definitely happens to me.

  2. Yep. Daily. Wow...Terri, I really look forward to some day spending time with you in person. I had to smile when I read your post. I don't have an answer for you though...hugs`

  3. You are not alone, so if you ever figure it out please let me know.

  4. Figuring it all out is futile. Do your best, then roll with the punches and the praises.


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