May 11, 2010

More Mother Tributes

by Terri Wagner

This is for all the moms who didn't get to be moms. A few years ago I took a cruise with several family members. One particular evening I was out on the deck, pretty much alone, waiting for the dinner bell. Those of you who have cruised know what I mean here. I saw a young couple meandering their way toward the formal dining area.

As I watched them go by, I thought of their future, their children, how young they were and frankly how much I envied them. I thought again of the children I had expected to have. Sometimes I even think of what would be their ages now if it had happened as planned. What would they be doing? Would I be a grandmother by now?

My co author just became a grandmother for the first time. I'm sharing her joy through facebook. But there is a pain there, an emptiness that nothing can feel.

When I was on the cruise, as the couple disappeared from view, the tears fell as I "missed" what I never experienced. Never had I imagined a life without children...never. Then came from my sweet kind understanding father in heaven...because you wanted them, it is as if you had them. You are a mother in the truest sense. Be not troubled my daughter.

While I may yet be under a curse for being picky about a husband (ha), at least I know that Heavenly Father knows that I wanted children, would have accepted them in my life and cared for them as best I could.

And yes oddly that gives my tremendous comfort.

4 comments:

  1. Terri, what an incredible experience! You expressed your feelings so beautifully. I have several close friends with whom I am going to share your post. I think it will bring them great comfort.Thank you.

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  2. Beautiful message, beautifully written. Thank you for sharing such a sacred experience with me.

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  3. Terri, you've touched my heart and made my tears flow. Someone I love dearly has never had children, either. She has made choices I don't like, but you have remained faithful, and I'm sure Heavenly Father will reward you for that faithfulness. Thank you for sharing your experience.

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  4. Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your feelings.

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