by Terri Wagner
This is for all the moms who didn't get to be moms. A few years ago I took a cruise with several family members. One particular evening I was out on the deck, pretty much alone, waiting for the dinner bell. Those of you who have cruised know what I mean here. I saw a young couple meandering their way toward the formal dining area.
As I watched them go by, I thought of their future, their children, how young they were and frankly how much I envied them. I thought again of the children I had expected to have. Sometimes I even think of what would be their ages now if it had happened as planned. What would they be doing? Would I be a grandmother by now?
My co author just became a grandmother for the first time. I'm sharing her joy through facebook. But there is a pain there, an emptiness that nothing can feel.
When I was on the cruise, as the couple disappeared from view, the tears fell as I "missed" what I never experienced. Never had I imagined a life without children...never. Then came from my sweet kind understanding father in heaven...because you wanted them, it is as if you had them. You are a mother in the truest sense. Be not troubled my daughter.
While I may yet be under a curse for being picky about a husband (ha), at least I know that Heavenly Father knows that I wanted children, would have accepted them in my life and cared for them as best I could.
And yes oddly that gives my tremendous comfort.