Procrastination Princess

by H. Linn Murphy

I'm so annoyed. I wrote my post for this day way early and scheduled it for today. Somehow it apparently aired instead on the day I wrote it.

So instead I'm going to enumerate all the reasons I why I'm going to put this off:

1. I already wrote something.
2. It's 3:45 in the afternoon.
3. The kids are home and doing various distracting things. Or not doing things I want them to do.
4. The TV is on and the program is pulling me away. I must admit to possessing the attention span of a sea anemone?
5. The Olympics are on. Who in their right mind can write while people are wiping out?
6. I haven't even gotten out of my jammies.
7. The stench is overpowering me. Must shower sometime this week.
8. I'm supposed to call three Cub Scout packs and one Scout troop about why they haven't rechartered yet. There are old guys nipping at me over the phone about it.
9. I'm supposed to go do a Friends of Scouting presentation. See #8.
10. I need to figure out something edible to cook for dinner.
11. I need to cook that dinner.
12. I need to finish packing for the ANWA conference and make another part of my costume.
13. I have to find someplace to run off my conference notes and my copies for the critique camp at conference since the printer is hosed.
14. I need to call several people and see if they'll take food to two sick people.
15. I have a leadership meeting in three hours.
16. I need to call the secretary and tell her not to wish Sister X happy birthday since she thinks that's not what Relief Society phone lists are for.
17. Some of my ANWA friends have asked me questions on Facebook about the conference and I need to answer them.
18. Laundry.
19. Hanging laundry.
20. Folding laundry.
21. Taking kids to YM/YW.
22. I only did one load of dishes. Another one waits in all its smelly non-glory.
23. Emptying the dishwasher.
24. I haven't read my scriptures yet.
25. I need to send in my book review.
26. Did I mention that I have yet to make my bed? It's nearly time to get back into it!
27. I'm looking at the front door and it's corroded with finger smudges.
28. So are the kitchen cabinets. My kids must wash their hands about as often as they voluntarily wash dishes--once per solar eclipse.
29. The fridge needs to be shoveled out and disinfected with a fire hose. The goo in there could be sentient enough to climb out and make war on the casserole from yesterday.
30. Dust. Everywhere. On every surface. Clogging up my keyboard and monitor, even. Dust bunnies are propagating on every flat or semi-flat surface. I can write my name in twenty-six different places.
31. I need a drink of cold water. While I'm in there, there might be something to eat.
32. I need to exercise away all the calories I just consumed. That'll take probably two hours.
33. I need to dig into a few more emails.
34. I forgot to put the latest version of my three books on my thumb drive. Don't forget to put that drive in my purse.
35. ..............................Wait a minute. These are the same excuses I use when I need to sit down and write pitches to agents.