As the mother of three grown children and one nearly grown senior, I've had many people ask how I've stayed close to my children. I believe it's because we have a unique family culture.
How do you do this? It starts with time. Spend time together doing things. Whatever interests your children, go with it. You should also include them in your activities.
When I was finishing up my bachelor's degree, I had to watch a video of "Into the Woods" for a drama class. My teen girls viewed with me. During the movie, we started quoting lines like, "You know what your decision is, which is not to decide!" We use this on a regular basis when one of us has a decision to make. We even sing it.
Another is the tradition of the "bousch" (pronounced boo-sh) blanket. Any comforter, quilt, or afghan that is the perfect weight to make you feel cozy and warm is "bousch". My good friend, who had my girls babysit on a regular basis, let them fall asleep on the sofa under a bousch quilt. She later made bousch quilts for them to take to college. My girls had to try out their quilts and let her know if they achieved bousch status. They pronounced her bousch quilter extraordinaire!
Other parts of our culture are even odder. We all want minions to do our bidding (no one has suceeded so far), love to mock merchandise in the store (hey, you NEED these sparkling orange leggings), have our own vocabulary (puter for computer), and often finish each other's sentences.
So, keep up those strange traditions, like throwing Christmas missles (fabric Christmas trees sewn by my sister-in-law), and work together on memories that last throughout eternity. After all, your best experiences should be with your family.