Mar 1, 2011

Serious Communication

by Terri Wagner

I have decided that what I am really bad at is communication. I like being nice and saying important things in a nice way. That sounds like it should work, but after so many years I can promise you it does not.

I had such dragonian bosses that when my turn came I wanted to be nice. That's really not being a leader. I'm learning nice gets you run over.

So I got to thinking. If I were a character in a book what would I say to me? Sorta like the Wall Street movie.

What's the purpose of a leader? Be nice or lead? Can you do both? How would I develop my character into a leader. How is being firm, fair and strong equate with nice.

Does anyone else find that working out the kinks in a character help them with a character flaw?

I'm beginning to accept that nice and leader may not be possible. Fear not, I'm not suggesting that being "not" nice is the answer, just that being nice is perhaps not entirely the correct way to lead.


  1. I could never be a boss of anything because I'm too much of a doormat. Doormats don't make interesting characters. I also find that working out my characters' flaws teaches me a lot about real life. And some people think this is a trivial profession. ;D

  2. I agree working on characters helps me work things out. I think there are good leaders and good managers and they are not always the same thing. I also think both are few and far between. Maybe because most that want to be kind and fair get the doormat treatment before they learn how to walk that tightrope to firmness and respect. I don't have the answers but good luck.

  3. Interesting thoughts, Terri. I remember bringing home a new mat for the front porch and my dil saying, "Oh! You bought a new doormat, cause it's not you anymore!" We all had a good laugh.

    I think the purpose of a leader is to help others become better. I think a leader can be nice and lead, but not necessarily on the same day! hugs~

  4. My brother constantly tells me I'm "too nice." It's such a hard balance to figure out niceness with getting what you need. Thanks for your ideas, Terri!


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