May 10, 2009

Chivalry is alive but afraid

By Shawnette Nielson

In the past I believe it was easier for a woman to be a woman, and for a man to be a man. Now, in this age of complete fairness between the sexes, woman’s sense of gentle femininity has been swashed as well as mans … well … man-ness.

I went to a water and ice store to fill up three 5 gal containers. I am 9 months pregnant, and though I am ABLE to carry these full water bottles, I do appreciate when someone offers to help. During this particular trip, as I loaded the bottles into my car, I noticed a gentleman looking my way. I sensed that he WANTED to help. He looked concerned and I KNEW that had it been 50 years ago, he would not have hesitated to rush over to help me load the water. I knew it. I also knew that the reason he chose NOT to help was that he was afraid of me being offended, or of getting in trouble, or maybe even of being insulted by me.

This incident convinced me that CHIVALRY IS ALIVE, but it has been insulted, squashed, and rejected so many times in this day of ‘enlightenment’ that men are afraid to follow their instinct to protect and help women. And I do believe it is instinct. I believe that chivalry, when acted upon and appreciated, inevitably makes the man feel more a man and makes the woman feel more a woman.

On this wonderful day of Honoring Women, I would like to implore all women to step back when chivalry is offered and appreciate it for what is truly is: a sign of respect and honor. Let’s let our men BE men! And let us realize that we are worth a little fuss :)


  1. Here, Here and big cheer for you for taking the time to express this so beautifully.

  2. Oh Shawnette! I have experienced that many times! Now I will even hesitate a moment to go through a door to let the gentleman there know that I would appreciate his help. Then I thank them with a big smile. They always end up smiling back. Thank you for expressing yourself so beautifully.

  3. AMEN! Thanks for this insightful post, Shawnette.

  4. AMEN! Thanks for this insightful post, Shawnette.

  5. It is critical to remember this and teach our sons and daughters to develop and appreciate chivalry.
    Today is a wonderful day to be reminded of this.

  6. You have that right Shawnette. Men want to do the right thing...women need to encourage them to do so.

  7. I'm thrilled when a man holds open a door (which is actually more often than not), or rushes to help me with something.
    There is certainly no hesitation in training my 17 year old on how to be a gentleman.
    This just happened last week:
    I pulled up to the gas station, my husband in the passenger seat my son in the backseat. I go in the store and pay the attendant. I walk out the door and pause. BOTH men are still sitting in the car. I walk over open the door and say, "I have TWO able bodied men sitting in my vehicle? It would be a crime for me to pump my own gas!" LOL
    Of course my husband jumped up muttering, "I didn't know you were getting gas."
    I try not to miss an opportunity to teach.
    We do need to encourage....and (as far as I'm concerned) insist on being "fussed" over.
    Thanks Shawnette, good reminder!

  8. Thanks everyone for such great comments! I love it.

  9. Looking for short term or long term relationship to the opposite sex you must be trust yourself and ask anything about her/him. Make sure you love him/her when it comes to relationship. You may stick to one person and understand her or him vice versa. Show your feelings, give your time so that your relationship will last. When it comes to relationship, age doesn’t matter but if its up to you if you fight your love/feelings to her or him.


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