Wednesday, June 9, 2010

(I can't think of a title ... fill in your own)

by Marielle Carlisle

I've recovered since the last time I posted, and have learned that our water bill will be less then half as much as I thought it would be. Whew. I'm in my swimsuit again, though. When you go swimming/splash-pading all morning, it's hard to motivate yourself out of the sun-induced coma that hits around this time of day.

I had a big day yesterday. It was ... my birthday.

I like birthdays. The last couple for me have been fun, nothing special. It's always "yeah, 28, that's alright," or "29, random number, I can handle that."

But 30? I FEEL different.

I feel old. And before I hear from all you's older then me (believe me, I've heard it), let me explain.

It's not that I feel old, it's just that I don't feel young anymore. I know I'm still youngish (people my age are still playing professional sports, barely), but I'm not YOUNG.

I have a completely different number at the beginning of my age. So long 2, it's been a slice.

From now when I fill out surveys or whatever, I'm in an entirely different age bracket! At least this year when I run the turkey trot I won't get blown away by the young 20's crowd. I'm gonna rock that 30's bracket!

I must've blinked, cause I swear I just graduated from high school. That's how I feel inside. This 30 number doesn't feel right.

I remember the summer between my freshmen and sophmore year of college, I worked at a paint-your-own-pottery store. During my first week of work the owner of the store celebrated her 30th birthday. She was so professional and confident and mature, and it boggles my mind that I'm now her age. I'm now 'supposed' to be put together and beautiful and everything my boss was back then. I can't believe I thought 30 was old when I was 19.

At least after this year, 31 and 32 should be a breeze.

6 comments:

  1. I hear ya Marielle!
    Actually, I experienced similar feelings when I turned 20 and then when I turned 50. When I turned 20 I was married, had an associates degree, one baby and was expecting another. I had done so much!

    At 50, I kept looking at all the things I hadn't accomplished yet. Plus all the aches and pains of mortality and raising a large family had really set in.

    Now...I'm good. I see that while I am older...I am much wiser and hopefully a stronger woman than I was at 20!

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  2. Hands down 50 was the worst for me too. 30 made me feel respectable. Like people HAVE to listen to me now. And 40 was actually kinda fun, but 50 now that's old.

    And I can totally respect where you are coming from. 30 is different; it's the end of youthfulness and the beginning of respectibility.

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  3. I understand. Thirty is a milestone.

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  4. Age is relative in many ways. I didn't get married until I was almost 27, had my first child at almost 29. When I retired two years ago I felt ready to take on the world. In my mind I'm still 26, but in my life I'm smarter. For better or worse, in life we trade youth for wisdom, but we never forget what it was like to be young.

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  5. And those birthdays just keep coming. We can't stop them, even though we protest and say we aren't as old as the numbers declare. My 30th anniversary is this week--we are both 30 in different ways. I'm still young!

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  6. Other than the gradual physical breaking down, I'm really enjoying my 50's!

    But, I, too, remember what it felt like to turn 30. For me, it was kind of a hopeless feeling because I still hadn't found my one and only. I was doubting myself in all kinds of ways for a few months and then I kind of pulled myself together and thought "I can't keep waiting for life to come to me. I'm going to go out and grab it." Less than a year later, I was married.

    And I felt like 19 inside until I hit my 40's. Since then, I've felt like a 25-year-old.

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