Tuesday, April 24, 2012

I wish I was Different

by Terri Wagner

Here I am two weeks exactly from my last final to renew my teaching certificate. Still worried sick there will be no job out there once I have done this. Mostly I am miffed with myself. Do ya'll ever feel that way?

I started out in January with a promise to myself. One, I would not pin all my hopes on this situation; two, I would accept a C and move on; three, I would continue subbing. I only did number three. And I am very glad, because I am learning how to apply the principles I learn in school with the reality of subbing, which as you know, is mostly a babysitting venture. Sometimes I have been quite successful; others, not so much. One thought stays with me: These are Heavenly Father's best and brightest, what worked before will not work with them.

I have applied for several other jobs, but not one interview; so although I did not mean to pin my hopes on this, it seems the only door open at the moment. However, open it is.

As for number 2 that is why I am freaking out with two weeks left. Somehow, I have managed to pull an A in all three classes...no, don't congratulate me yet. I have two filmed projects, one final paper, one final and 5 blog posts yet to go. But instead of coasting because I have an A at the moment, I want to keep the A. And I am having a conversation with myself that goes something like this:

Just coast, you're safe! I WANT the As. Why, no one cares. I care! No you don't care, it's your ego. No, it's my pride. Either way it's a drag. But, but...and so on it goes. I'll resurface in two weeks with or without saving the As. Think I should coast?

poster of a beach

3 comments:

  1. Of course you don't coast! I wanted that A too, and I got it! What a blast it is to achieve our goals. Let the others coast, if they want, but if you have it in you to get that best grade, then go for it, Terri. I'm cheering for you! Go, Terri, go! Rah, rah!

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  2. OOh, I want to be on your cheer squad too! Don't coast...I had a counselor at BYU tell me to just take the rest of my classes on campus and pass them off as fast as I could so I can be finished. What? I want to learn. I want to improve...

    Terri, I love your comment about the best and the brightest. So true...and a good reminder for me. Very humbling too. You rock!

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  3. Hi Terri,
    Congratulations on the A grades so far. Sorry you've had such a tough time with job applications. I have had the same luck, so just decided to make the most of where I am.

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