Friday, April 20, 2012

A Writer's Dream

by Laura Lofgreen

I dream a lot.  Most of the ideas for my writing projects come to me while I’m asleep, but one night I had a very interesting dream about the highs and lows of the actual writing process. 

In my dream, my husband and I are in Sedona. We have the entire day planned; great places to eat and visit, meeting up with friends and enjoying time together. And what do I suggest as we drive through beautiful Oak Creek Canyon? I look out the window at a huge boulder, isolated and remote and say;
“I want to spend the day on top of that.”
The rock is about 100 feet up in the air and has a small platform on top. There’s a rock climbing group that can help me get to the top of it.
Like usual, my husband doesn’t question my idea, he’s the perfect gentleman and agrees to help me however he can.
So, I spend the next hour being lured with ropes and levies up onto the top of this rock that’s piercing out of the ground like a 60 foot overgrown weed.
I watch as my husband drives away and there I sit, all alone.
The space is small and I barely fit sitting Indian style. If I lean too much either way, I’ll fall to my death.
I meditate and look at the view and after about an hour, I wonder how in the world I’ll get down. It’s hot and I have no water. I wonder why I wanted to do this at all. What a strange idea?
I think of my husband, out having fun and I miss him so much.
After about 3 hours, the rocking climbing group climbs back to the top of the boulder, slips some ropes around me and helps me down.
Once at the bottom, I wait and wait for my husband to come pick me up. Its night fall when I see the headlights of his car, pulling into the gravel parking lot. The car is filled with balloons and music is blaring from the radio. It’s obvious he’s had a great day.
“How was it?” he asks as I get into the car.
“It was fine, I wish I would’ve spent the day with you instead,” I say with some regret.

In a strange way, this is how I feel when I’ve spent the day writing. I sit alone, Indian style in a single chair and watch as the world flashes by. Sometimes I get really thirsty because I realize I’ve forgotten to drink while I work. Night falls and I type in the dark before I realize I need to turn a lamp on. And I sit, day after day, meditating the ideas of my novel. And the 3 hour time-line on top of the boulder in the dream? I rarely work more the 3 hours at a time on writing. I run out of ideas and loose momentum. There are plenty of days I ask myself, “Why am I doing this?”

So, after this dream I give myself a few days off.  I pretend like I don’t have the urge to continue working on my novels.  I procrastinate.  I shop for shoes on-line.  I try a new recipe for cinnamon rolls, even though I’m not eating carbohydrates.  I pluck my eyebrows slowly and when I’m done I change the sheets in my daughter’s crib.
Who am I fooling?  I want back up on the cliff-high boulder so I can look out at the world and get back to my writing.  

3 comments:

  1. Fascinating post, Laura. What an interesting dream! I can related to everything you said! hugs~

    ReplyDelete
  2. Really enjoyed your post, Laura!!! What great ponderings you have thought about and a great experience to keep you writing on for a long time!!! I feel the same way, by the way--all that time writing when everyone else is doing fun stuff!!! It a sacrifice.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes I feel the same way sometimes. Like being in school this semester. It was too much...and the whole world has gone on, but I haven't. Or at least I feel that way.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for visiting. Feel free to comment on our blogger's posts.*

*We do not allow commercial links, however. If that's not clear, we mean "don't spam us with a link to your totally unrelated-to-writing site." We delete those comments.