Mar 30, 2010

Update on the dating site

by Terri Wagner

Had an enlightening experience this time. "Met" a guy who first claimed he was a brand new convert then said no I misunderstood he was an investigator who was going to be a member. He was a widower with one son. The missionaries had suggested the site to him. He had a sad story. But things were looking up, and he was excited about the gospel.

It was refreshing in a way to talk to him about the basics of the gospel and keep to the simple doctrine. Sometimes I can get carried away discussing things like did Lot's wife really turn to salt and was it nuclear or something else. No, it doesn't matter, but yes it's fun to speculate. But here I was just talking about the Josesph Smith story and the origins of the Book of Mormon.

There were a few offsetting moments. But I mostly put those down to my irrational fear of commitment (the real reason I'm not married). In time though barely two weeks into it, just last night as a matter of fact, he asked for money. In a tight spot, will pay me back right away when he can, just needs a few bucks to tide him over, blah blah blah. At first I was amused thinking "aha the real story" then I got irritated because the more I said no, the more persistent he got, then I got worried well geez maybe the poor fellow is in trouble and shouldn't I help even if it's against my better judgement...I was IM'ing with a girlfriend who was like don't you dare even think about sending him money.

I ended up telling him I was terrible sorry he was in this situation but I really didn't know him well enough to know if it was even a true story, suggested a few things he could do (he claimed he was currently in Rome, Italy for a job and was being used by some dude back in Kentucky) and then said goodbye and terminated all contact points. I also emailed the site about the story.

Then I went to bed and tossed and turned wondering if the poor fellow really was in trouble and should I have helped?! I've always been one to follow the BOM advice: if you have it, give it; they'll answer for what they do with it. But the truth is right now I don't much have it. Then through my prayer I heard the distinct statement: he just would have asked for more.

That settled my heart. Now it doesn't really matter if the man's story is true or not, he would have just asked for more. And I for sure couldn't have kept up financial assistance.

You married sisters out there, give your hubbys an extra hug today. Us single sisters sure have to put up with some frogs before we find those princes.


  1. Yuck, what a creep. Way to stay strong!

  2. I think you did the right thing. Hard to do it, but definitely the right choice.

  3. Way to be smart.

    And I will extra-hug my hubby. He never asks for money.

  4. Good job. I know it's hard, but you stuck to what was right under pressure and didn't cave!

  5. Wow Terri. That was a very interesting learning experience. And yes, my hubby is going to get an extra hug today. The world is so different with all the technological advances in communication. I'm glad that you received that amazing confirmation. Go Terri!


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