Mar 2, 2010

Deep Thoughts

by Terri Wagner

Because the Osmonds were a big part of my introduction to the gospel (read that without them I might never have known about the church), I've always felt a deep connection to them although I've never actually met one of them. I followed their ups and downs with great interest. Hearing about Marie's son was sad; sadder because my family has members suffering from this terrible disease and yes even suicide has been a part of the equation. Suicide attempts even more so.

I was blessed to believe things always got better eventually. It took me a long time to understand that's a rare gift of the Spirit and furthermore people can't just "have" that feeling. Like a testimony, for some, such a feeling must be nurtured and developed.

I still have family members that we "watch" carefully wondering what their final decision will be. I know what affect such an act has on the extended family and how hard it is to cope with the aftermath.

I have also grown in my understanding of this disease and why it's a disease and how little we understand it. But here's where my natural optimism sustains me because I think but someday we'll be able to cure mental/emotional disorders the way we can measles, mumps and even the plague. That would have been unthinkable decades ago. Time is on our side.

But for today, there is only sadness and a longing to understand these disorders of the mind and spirit. And yes selfishly gratitude that I was blessed with "merry heart" and a "happy spirit."


  1. It is a terrible disease. Our family has experienced this kind of loss as well. I, too, look forward to the day we will be able to cure mental/emotional disorders. I think the biggest hurdle is getting people to change their perspective and recognize it truly is a disease. I remember a family member arguing about not wanting their family member to be on meds because it would "Change who they are." I said...they are not their true self now. If he had diabetes you would want him to take insulin, right? She finally understood!
    thanks for your loving and enlightening post.

  2. I wish I could give Marie a big hug. Dealing with this must be the hardest thing she has ever done. Thank heaven for meds, and how blest is the person who finds the right one for them.

  3. Sad indeed. I'm hormonally challenged - had two years where it was VERY bad. Thank goodness I've actually found a solution that is working for me.
    I too was really upset for Marie and the Osmonds. So tragic. I've had several friends who have taken their lives due to this disease.
    I'm grateful for the gospel, and continue to pray for those of us afflicted with these things.
    Thanks for your post Terri.

  4. Thanks for your post on the Osmonds. It is so truly sad. I have heard it said that if you have a true testimony, then you won't suffer from depression. BUNK! It is a real illness, not a choice, not a lack of faith or testimony. My heart goes out to their family.


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