Mar 10, 2010

Don't Do Me Any Favors . . .

By Lynn Parsons

During the past couple of weeks, two different friends asked for favors. Without revealing too many details, here are the facts:

Friend A needed a project done quickly. She was pretty panicked about this, so Friend B & I changed our plans for after work and worked on this task. We tried to call Friend A four times that evening to ask for her opinions and input, but Friend A was too busy with other calls to talk.

The next day, Friend A sent an email listing all the things wrong with this project. There was a short thanks, but no appreciation for our efforts, recognition that we had dropped everything to help her out, or expressions of regret that she had been too busy to collaborate. I explained to Friend B (they don't know each other) that Friend A was stressed. We decided to take it in stride and make the changes.

You guessed it-- the following day an email detailed further changes. These were made grudgingly, but they were done. Friend B and I were glad to be "finished."

Until the next email a few days later, demanding still more changes. Friend B is a professional in this field, but was doing this for free . . . on her own time . . . and with her own equipment. Now totally frustrated, she doesn't want anything more do to with this project. Understandable. Neither do I.

Now, on to Friend C. I had been helping her out at work, arranging and rearranging my schedule to help her out. Suddenly she needed my "help" constantly. Although she outranks me, I refused to let day after day be taken up with work that could be easily done by others. I think my eagerness to help put me in the position of doormat.

I didn't confront Friend A, but did with Friend C. Still wondering which was right. . . .

I'm taking a vacation from favors . . . .


  1. No good deed ever goes unpunished or something like that. I'd vacation from favors.

  2. Sometimes I have to do myself a favor and just say 'no' - good luck!

  3. Wow. That's quite an experience Lynn. I think I would vacation from favors, too...and I would love to do it in Hawaii right now!

  4. What an experience! Life gave you lemons. I hope you are rewarded soon for your willingness to help.

  5. I have been in that position too. It is hard to be helpful to others when they think that that means they own you.
    They too will have to answer for that and I will get the blessing for my help even if they didn't like it.
    Also I would stay away from ungrateful users of my time. It is to precious to me and mine.


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