It's Been a Fun Run

by Valerie Ipson

This is it, folks. My last post on the ANWA Founder & Friends blog. Thanks to Marsha for the opportunity and to all of you for reading and commenting. It all started when Joyce DiPastena asked me to sub for her. Thanks, Joyce! That was September 1, 2008. I found that blogging wasn't so scary after all and even went on to start my own a few months later...you can still catch me there at OF WRITERLY THINGS (valerieipson.blogspot.com). New posts are expected after the holidays when things get back to their normal abnormal around here--as per usual, I haven't done much posting in December.]

Apparently, this is my 56th post. I've written on a myriad of topics, but thought it might be interesting to see which had received the most comments. Two tied for the top spot--one about posting the conference widget on your blog (a free T-shirt was offered, so it's understandable), the other was one where I talked about my recurring dream about babies and the interpretation of it I'd found in a book. You had a lot to say about dreams. Another top contender was one called I Need Therapy. Thanks for your support of that assertion. Tied with I Need Therapy was one titled No More BFF's. It was one of my earliest blog postings and a lot of fun, so I thought I'd rerun it. (Remember, even though I'm no longer blogging here, we're still BFF's!)

No More BFF's

My checkbook and debit card are no longer on speaking terms. Not that they were ever that close, but still, it doesn’t seem right. The two should be buds, two compadres in a common cause, but whatever they did have is no longer.

I guess Checkbook can only take so much—she’s had it up to HERE, she says. It seems Debit Card has a nasty habit of not reporting transactions to Check Register. That was supposed to be the deal—spend money, write it down in Check Register. Oh, Checkbook has been diligent. When she spends money on something like school lunch or tithing, she meticulously records each item down to its amount, date, and even the reason for the transaction. She is definitely a stickler for details. Debit Card—not so much.

Frankly, she’s like a crazy woman—a discount T-shirt from Walmart here, a dozen eggs and a gallon of milk there, but does she let Check Register know? No. She goes on her merry way as if nothing happened. Eat, drink and wear cheap T-shirts seems to be her motto.

So when a $2.37 debit to Sonic shows up on Bank Balance, Checkbook says, “Hey, what’s up, Check Register? I don’t see an entry for $2.37 to Sonic." (Yummy strawberry banana smoothie, by the way.) Check register can only lift her tiny little arms in defeat. “Don’t look at me. I didn’t know nothing about no smoothie.” (Her grammar’s not the best when she’s stressed.) Again, Debit Card is the culprit. Bad, Debit Card, very, very bad.

Well, Debit Card, I hope you’ve enjoyed your little party because now the jig is up (and we all know when the jig is up, it’s serious--sorry to be harsh, but sometimes you’ve just got to take a stand). No longer will you hold your hallowed go-to position in the wallet. You’re banished to its deep dark recesses between the auto glass company business card and the sub sandwich punch card, and if you don’t mend your ways it’s the desk drawer for you, my friend!

But first, let me make a quick Walmart run…then you’re banished, my friend…banished to the deep dark recesses of the…

Note to Self: Please step up your writing efforts so you can actually sell something, earn some money, and make Bank Balance happy. ‘Cause if Bank Balance ain’t happy…well, you know the rest.