Dec 16, 2010

It Just Isn't Fair -- or Is It?

by Kari Diane Pike

Warning: My intention was to write a well-planned, brilliant post that would bring a smile to your face and a laugh to your heart -- but life is so full of contradictions. It just isn't fair.

I know, I know -- there is opposition in all things. Without opposition, we would not be able exercise our agency. It is all part of the great plan of salvation. I do know that. I also know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer. Without his atoning gift, we would be lost and all creation would be for naught. I know the Savior lives. I know the Savior loves us. Everything he did, he did because of his love for each and every one of us. This is the thought that keeps me going today. In the midst of the chaos of right versus wrong, and joy versus sorrow, I find peace in knowing the Savior and who we are and why we are here.

The other day, a sweet friend lost her husband in a tragic car accident. He was 23 years old. He proposed to her during her recovery from the ovarian cancer that struck her in her late teens. They had already been through a lot together. When I heard about the accident, I first thought, what's the point? That is so not fair.

Another friend is faced with the possibility of losing not one, but two of her three boys. Born with a genetic disorder that affects their muscle structure, they were recently diagnosed with cardiomyopathy and the eight-year-old has developed an arrhythmia that could cause sudden death at any time. I can't help but think That is so not fair. Then I read their mother's blog and I feel their faith and testimonies. The boys talk about how if they do die soon, how cool it will be to get to serve their missions together in heaven. Their courage astounds me as I read about their requests to their parents to be able to die in specific ways -- one wants to go quickly and quietly -- the other wants something dramatic like getting shot in the heart. Knowing these boys, even that rather morbid request made me laugh.

This morning, the storm-cleansed sky shimmered as the suns rays burst over the tops of the mountains. At first I felt like it was mocking me. With all the tragedy going on, it should be dark and gloomy, right? I opened my scriptures, looking for peace and hope. My eyes opened wide as phrase after phrase brought joy to my heart: The Lord is near, the Lord God will help, Lift up your eyes, Awake! Awake! Put on thy strength, O how great the goodness of our God, Cheer up your hearts, I know in whom I have trusted, O Lord, I have trusted in thee and I will trust in thee forever, O how great the holiness of our God! For he knoweth all things, and there is not anything save he knows it.

The earth and everything on it was created for a purpose. We were created for a purpose. Jesus Christ sacrificed his very life so that purpose can be fulfilled. How grateful I am for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the knowledge and power it gives me. I am grateful for covenants that teach me how to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort. I am grateful for the blessings of the temple and the sealing power that makes it possible for families to be forever. And I am grateful for little children who teach me the power of simple faith over things that, to our mortal eyes, do not seem fair, because if you really think about it, where would we be if life suddenly became "fair?"


  1. Life isn't fair, but apparently we agreed to come here knowing full well what we would face. May the Lord bless the young widow, and bless the mother who may soon lose her sons. Thank you for your post, Kari.

  2. The only comfort I get and it's small to be honest, is the eternal perspective. She still has her boys; they still have each other; and the young couple will have each other. It's not much here, but it's every thing there.

  3. Thanks so much for your post, Kari, and your sweet testimony. It really does come down to perspective or, as we writers would say, point of view. The more we can align our POV with that of God, the less we will see "through a glass darkly" and the more we will be comforted through life's trials.

  4. The tragedies you shared were heart breaking. They gave me a start and made me realize how silly my worries of late have been. I am so blessed to have five healthy children who love the Lord, my dear and hard working husband and oh so much more. Thank you for sharing this. I now will focus on being gratefull for my many blessings.

  5. Mom, one of my favorite lines from a song by Reliant K, "The beauty of Grace is that it makes life not fair."

    Your post really focuses on that, and it's been on my mind lately, as Rebekah has picked up somewhere "That's just not fair!" So thank you for your thoughts.

  6. Life isn't fair and it is good of you to remind us that there might be a higher unknown purpose to our suffering and sorrow. My prayers go out to the people you mentioned.


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